Comment Wall

 Comment Wall for Bible Women

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Comments

  1. Hi Lumingo,

    Great idea for your storybook. I like how you gave a good synopsis of each story in the Bible that you will be going into. As a Muslim, all of these stories are in the Quran as well, but their same names are transliterated to Arabic. For instance, Jacob is Yaequb in Arabic and God is Allah in the Arabic language. Thus, even someone who may be Christian but speaks Arabic may refer to God as Allah which I think is one area that many people may not realize. Also, the stories are told in a different perspective in some aspects such as when discussing Hagar and Ishamel. The synopsis you give on each person really helps for me and maybe others who are less familiar with these stories. I wonder what exactly your version of the story is. What exactly is your twist on the story that is different from the original? What does it mean when you refer to God's grace being seen through these stories? Overall, great intro! Can't wait to read some of your stories!

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  2. Hi Lumingo!

    I think this is a great topic for your storybook project! I loved the biblical unit because of my knowledge of the bible and my faith, so your story title grabbed my attention right away! As a Christian, I am very familiar with these bible women, but I have never studied them in terms of their loyalty! The connected pairs idea is great too because I am currently doing a study over the entire bible and it blows my mind knowing how many things intertwine and overlap! Are all the stories going to be told from each of their own perspectives? Are you going to share any overlap between the characters as they weave in and out of different books? Also, I loved how you laid out all six women and gave a brief description on them. For those who are unfamiliar with the Bible, this will be very helpful! Are you going to add any creative twists to these stories or are they going to be straight retellings? I am so intrigued and I can't wait to see what you do with this project! Good luck!

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  3. Hi Lumingo!
    I really love your introduction and how you gave some background info into each of the characters. You set up the introduction well so that we know what to expect in the coming chapters of your story book. I also grew up in a religious family and did bible study every week. I, like you, have always thought about bible stories in different perspectives. I can't wait to see what you plan to write for your stories. It's a great idea writing these stories in the connected pairs you've chosen. Will you be writing a perspective for each person in the pair? That would be pretty cool to see! Also, I noticed on your very last page for Sarah and Hagar that the title on the actual page says Mary and Martha. I wasn't sure if that was a mistake or not. Good luck with the rest of your storybook! It seems like you have a pretty good idea of what you have planned for it so good job so far.

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  4. Hi Lumingo!

    I really loved your introduction! I also grew up in a very religious household (my parents named me after Leah), and, since my father was raised Jewish, I had aspects of both Judaism and Christianity emphasized. I especially love that you've chosen to focus on Old Testament women, because they really do show so much strength and character, but are also so often overlooked. That really applies to Hagar! I'm very excited to see where you go with her story, since there's so little that we know about her. I think it was a really good choice to tell the stories as pairings - like you said, you can't really tell one of these women's stories without telling the other's. Overall, I think you have a great website design and introduction (especially the helpful summaries you gave for each character!), and I'm looking forward to seeing where this project takes you.

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  5. Hello, I enjoyed your introduction and found it very helpful. The descriptions and background of the characters will make it much easier to read and understand your stories. I think that was a nice touch. I also read your story, Rachel and Leah. I really enjoyed your story and it is really crazy how times have changed. Were these two different stories that were merged together or were they originally linked? One thing that I would suggest is maybe add some more emotion into the story to make it feel more real. I personally have a sister and we compete all the time and it can get really heated so maybe add some more of those elements. Overall, I really enjoyed your story and thought your interpretation of this story was very creative.

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  6. Hi Lumingo :)

    I really liked your Introduction and your first story! You did a really great job. I really like how you're putting the women in pairs in a way that highlights their different personalities.

    For your introduction, I like how you explained why you put them in pairs. I also really liked how you gave a short and succinct explanation as to who each woman was for readers who may not be all that familiar with them.

    For your story, I liked how your language was much more casual. It really made it feel like your own story! I think it would've been really cool if you had showed Leah and Rachel putting aside their rivalry when they realize it's been harming them and their relationship with each other and those around them. Regardless, I like how you've written your story! The only critiques I have are in regards to editing, specifically possessives, plurals, and punctuation. Over all, you did well with them, but there are spots that could use a little help :) When dealing with possessives, make sure you put an apostrophe and an 's' at the end of the name or thing. Ex: Rachel's husband, the chair's leg, etc. When dealing with plurals (which can be a pain) double check the word because while some words just need an added -s or -es, some words change a lot, like child to children. When dealing with punctuation, just make sure to keep an eye on commas. They can get really tricky, but don't be worried about separating your one long sentence into two shorter separate sentences. It's also important to remember that a comma goes after a conjunction when it joins two independent clauses (stand alone sentences).

    Other than those three grammar/punctuation critiques, I think your story is wonderful! I can't wait to read the rest!

    (Also, because I noticed, you have a tab that says 'Sarah and Hagar,' but when I clicked on it, the page said 'Mary and Martha.' Just in case you wanted to fix that now :) )

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  7. Hi Lumingo!

    I think your introduction was very helpful. It introduced all of the characters but still kept them in the story. By that I mean, when I read the story I could tell who you were talking about and I had a little background on them, but I got to know them through the stories themselves. I grew up as a Christian and I love what you have done with these stories. They are written in a very informal way and I think that is important. When I was young, I read these stories and didn't understand them for like five year. But, you write them in a way that it is easy for someone to read and see the same impact that those who are reading this in old script would be. If I had to fix anything, I would say focus on punctuation and capitalization. I noticed a couple of times that it was wonky or out of place. I do not think these necessarily take a way from the story but they are little changes that would alter how you read!

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  8. Hi Lumingo, The look of your storybook is wonderful, right away there is the perfect image, the colors are pronounced and I like the left hand side menu. I do think it would be great if each page had its own image instead of the same one on each page though. Aside from that, the introduction did a great job of detailing what the storybook is about. The women you chose to write about are all familiar to me so it was interesting reading your takes on them. I like that you labeled the stories that you are going to also include but there is one strange thing, when you click on Sarah and Hagar the page has a spread set up for Mary and Martha. Overall I really enjoyed the story and it ended on a happier note than how I normally see it written. You kept all of the important information without drawing out the story too long. It's a very enjoyable storybook.

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  9. Hi Lumingo! I love your project! I also was raised in a Christian home and know these stories well, but there is something about re-examining them from a different view that allows me to see God's goodness in a new light! As far as your site goes, I really enjoy the layout you have. My only critique would be to use a different image for all of the stories! I also enjoyed the fact that you took the time to outline who each woman was and what their roles were in the stories. I know when I get in the zone I can forget key background points, so I appreciate that you gave readers the information up front. I also read your rendition of Rachel and Leah (Rachel is my namesake so I selfishly enjoyed that aspect) and thought you did a wonderful job. The dialogue you added made the story seem more real and helped me visualize things better. If I had a critique, it would be to revise some of your sentence structures. There are places where a paragraph break might be helpful to readers, as well as some commas. Other than that, great job and I look forward to reading more from you!

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  10. Hi Lumingo! I think your idea for a Storybook is great. grow up ver familiar with the stories you chose to retell as well, but I loved the new light you cast them in. Women in the Bible are such an interesting topic and I'm glad you chose to explore it! Looking over these comments, I agree that you should change up the use of images on your Storybook and also consider shortening some of the stories. Some of the images show up as blurry or too pixilated on my screen and I think that fixing that would make them look a lot more polished! I think you do a great job of drawing out the themes of faithfulness with the different women. I'm looking forward to seeing how this develops. Great job!

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  11. Hey what’s up Lumingo! I clicked on your storybook because I was interested to see the content in your storybook. As a Christian, I have been to many church services, but most of the time, stories about the women in the Bible get lost or ignored. So, I’m glad you chose to do your storybook about the women of the Bible. The first thing I noticed about your storybook are the pictures through the storybook. I really like the pictures you chose because it helps put a face behind the characters we are reading about in your stories. The only issue I saw is, some of the images are blurry and it is kind of difficult to tell what some of them portray. I think if you replaced those images with some that are high resolution, it would help out! Overall I thought you did a great job, and I cant wait to read more stories!

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  12. Hi Lumingo!

    What a cool concept for your Storybook. Focusing on the women from the bible provides a new perspective that I think is really useful. I haven't ever really read the bible either so I didn't know much about any of these stories beforehand.

    I was so shocked by the plot of the first story. Two sisters who have to marry the same man and become jealous of each other because of it? Talk about drama. I can't even imagine being put into a situation like that. I really liked that you included a lot of dialogue in your story as not many people seem to. I would suggest adding in some more detail about how each of the sisters feel about being married to the same man though. Getting to read both of their perspectives will help ground your readers in your story.

    Your Storybook looks really good so far! Good work!

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